Broken.

I almost went 26 years without breaking anything. Happy early birthday to me.

I broke my foot during modern class Thursday night. We were practicing a move across the floor and I landed wrong. Heard the pop as I crumpled to the floor. Specifically, we chassé to the side and then spring up and put our feet together while spinning in the air. I landed on the side of my left foot. I had done it fine for multiple times but I guess I had too much momentum/spin on this one.

I was immediately flooded with emotions as I hit the floor. Oh no. Please no. That didn’t sound good. Everyone rushed over: “Did you break it?” “Can you walk?” I just sat there stunned, cradling my foot. I could barely walk. I hobbled over to the front of the studio and sat down. My teacher brought me an ice pack. I watched the remaining 15 minutes of class, trying to hold back tears. I didn’t want anyone to see me cry.

My good friend, Ashton, saw me through the observation window. She had fractured her metatarsal in her pinky toe, a little further up than me, last October. She had landed wrong while doing a leap in class. I saw her worriedly looking at me as I was sitting on the floor. I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t look at anyone.

She asked me if I was okay when I got out of class. I told her I wasn’t sure. I just needed to go to the bathroom. I started sobbing as soon as I got in there. What a day to not wear waterproof make up. I cleaned myself up and talked to my ballet teacher. She said it didn’t look good. I said that I can still wiggle my toes, so that’s good, right? Ashton said that she could still move hers, too, when her fracture happened. I was supposed to have ballet class in 30 minutes. I asked my teacher if I could just go home and ice and elevate it. She said that’s a good idea. And get it checked out the next day. She said we aren’t starting spring recital choreography until next week, so I’m not really missing anything. I half put on my boot so I could get to my car. My foot was really swollen. I took it off as soon as I got in. Luckily, it wasn’t my driving foot.

I got home and my boyfriend carried me inside from my car. I couldn’t wear any of my shoes. Went to the doctor on Friday and got the X-ray. Right when the technician told me that it’s broken, I had to fight back tears. My fears had come true. He said that luckily, it doesn’t look too out of line. He could also tell that I was in motion when it happened because the break is almost in a spiral. I was put in a temporary boot and given crutches and they referred me to ortho for that afternoon. My parents insisted on going with me (my boyfriend had to work). I could only see a PA since it was a walk-in basis, but he was very nice and helpful. He told me that I don’t need surgery. Thank goodness. And it will take 6-8 weeks to heal. He said I should use the crutches for a few days, but then he wants me to start bearing weight on it. I was put in a bigger boot.

I am heartbroken. I will still go to my classes but just to watch. I will not miss out on choreography. Recital is in May….I have hopes that if I heal properly, I can still dance in the show. I probably will have to cancel my private pointe classes though. Obviously I can’t sit in on those since I’m the only one taking them.

It’s bruised up pretty bad but I THINK the swelling is starting to go down today. I’m not sleeping too well. I have to wear the boot at all times except when I shower. The pain comes in waves.

My coworkers and boss have been very sweet. I obviously didn’t go in to work Friday. I will go tomorrow. They will help me figure out propping up my foot at my desk.

My head is just spinning still. I feel like I’m in a bad dream. It doesn’t feel real.

I go back for a follow-up appointment at ortho in about 2 weeks.